you do something to me, something deep inside. 

i’m hanging on a wire for the love i’ll never find. 

you do something wonderful and chase it all away. 

mixing my emotions, throws me back again. 

hanging on the wire and i’m waiting for a change. 

dancing through the fire just to catch a flame. 

to feel real again. 

a fire, a fire, you can only take what you can carry. 

my pulse, your pulse, it’s the only thing i can remember. 

i break, you don’t. i was always set to self-destruct though. 

two weeks later, like a surplus reprieve, 

i found a hair the length of yours on my sleeve. 

i wound it round and round my finger so tight 

it turned to purple and a pulse formed inside. 

and it knew the beat ‘cause it matched your own beat. 

i still remember it from our chest-to-chest and feet-to-feet. 

an easy silence that was a sweet release to this hush. 

Does this ever happen to you? Like, I’ll sit in front of my computer to do some important work, and then I’ll just think, ”Man, I wonder if Home Alone 2 made more money than Home Alone 1. I’ve got to look into this now. Sorry, important work, something more pressing has come up.” 

It’s annoying because what always happens is I’ll be researching one thing and then I’ll see something else I want to look into. Like, for example, the Home Alone situation. I’ll see, “Oh, wow, Joe Pesci’s in that movie. I don’t know much about Joe Pesci. Maybe I should learn everything about Joe Pesci.” And I’ll spend hours doing this Joe Pesci research, and I know so much about Joe Pesci now, but it’s useless! It’s never going to help me! 

I’ve never heard of a story of like, a guy getting stopped in an alley by a dude with a knife like, “You’re going to die tonight unless you can tell me the name of the album Joe Pesci put out when he was a little kid.” And I would say, “Little Joe Sure Can Sing.” and they would be like, “Dammit, you’re free to go. I’ve got to stop integrating Joe Pesci trivia into my murders!” 

“What was it that attracted you about Nima (new boyfriend)? The way he

took advantage of your former fiancee? What part of that is so attractive?” 

“Maybe that he was the type of person that wouldn’t be able to be taken advantage of.” 

“So it is that. That you felt that [former fiancé] Mr. Spencer was just way too nice 

and that Nima is the kind of guy who goes after what he wants and gets it at all

costs, no matter what he has to do to get it, including lie, cheat, steal and act. 

That was the part that you liked? How long do you think it takes for someone 

like that to turn that on you? Hmm, sweet pea? How old are you?” 

“I’m 20.” 

“20? Well, let me talk to you as someone who could be your mother and then some. 

Ok? I don’t know how sexy you find that- that kind of prowessness of knowing 

what you want and not getting pushed around and all that. Nobody wants a push-over. 

But boy, let me tell you: what lasts is a nice guy.”

“You basically took him for anything you could get. It speaks volumes.” 

“That I thought he was really a nice person and was really trying to help me?”

“No, no. No, that you know that you’re not interested in him, that you know 

it’s not going anywhere, that you know he is thinking he’s got a shot with you 

and he doesn’t have a shot. My point is, you’re not a seventeen year-old girl 

who doesn’t know any better. You’re twice that age. You know you’re leading 

him on and you know you’re getting gifts from it. So stop it. As for you,

Mr. Lash, dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! Okay?

If you’re going to have to buy a relationship, you’ve got nothing. Nothing. 

Okay? But what you want me to do is convert things that you were buying 

for her that were not loans into loans. You even say it yourself in your statement. 

You say, “I didn’t make her sign anything because I thought we were trying to date.” 

I don’t care how bad things may have been or how much you thought he’s 

just a nice guy. It’s obvious to me, and I’ve only known you two for fifteen minutes, 

that he was looking for a relationship. I know it was obvious to you, and 

it was a bad judgement call to let him buy you gifts, because now here you are 

and it’s making you look bad and it’s making him look like an idiot.”